Yes, please?

Kanisa George

CARL ALLEN, the main character played by Jim Carrey in Yes Man, embarks on a transformative journey underscored by the need to inspire life-changing positivity. The film is loosely based on the ground-breaking memoir by humorist Danny Wallace, who was inspired by a brief conversation with a stranger he met on the bus and who encouraged him to commit to saying "Yes" to everything over a six-month period.

In the film, Carl, a recent divorcee and victim of bouts of negative projection, decides to enter a "covenant with the universe" and say yes to anything asked of him. And just like most things in life, things don't go as planned for Carl.

But out of everything Carl learned while embarking on what could only be described as a soul-searching exercise, the most valuable lesson was the importance of opening your mind to various possibilities while still maintaining the ability to say no if the need arises.

For those of us who struggle with negative intrusive thoughts, what if, like Carl, we altered our perspective and said yes rather than dwell on the "what ifs" and the oh-so instructive "I cannot do that!"

How about we live our lives in a way that challenges our potential instead of highlighting our fears? What if we enter a covenant with the universe and say yes even though everything around us tells us to say no?

The power of choice can be a double-edged sword. It has the potential to save us from impending doom but also limits us by minimising possibilities that should be endless.

No one wants to learn the hard lessons that dangerous situations can sometimes teach us, and saying no, in my view, might be the only decision in an objectively perilous situation. Confusion arises when we're presented with a situation that isn't objectively dangerous but naturally doesn't enamour us with confidence, and we believe it's easier to say no to avoid disappointment. Put simply, we say no because we're afraid to try.

Understanding our capacity and capabilities can only be learned by doing. The more you do, the more you learn. But we can only absorb this knowledge (unless by pure accident) if we give ourselves a chance. Choosing to say yes and committing to the possibility of success by saying yes opens doors to new opportunities, possibilities and lessons.

Each time we take a plunge, we open ourselves up to learn something new, even if it's a perceived failure or mistake. As much as we hate to fail, one unpopular view might ring true: we learn more because of our failures.

Oddly enough, it is the fear of failure that keeps us from saying yes and prevents us from enriching our lives.

When we say no for no reason other than nervousness and fear, our growth is stunted, and we lose an opportunity to learn our limits.

When we say yes, we invite positivity into our perspective. The glass half full gives us the confidence to tackle situations, knowing that whatever may come, we're "putting ourselves out there."

In many ways, saying yes builds confidence and increases the possibility for you to get more out of life through relationships and experiences. One writer penned that enhanced confidence improves your awareness of available options, and the information you gain by saying yes to new places, events, or ideas helps you define your future boldly.

Researchers believe that saying yes stops us from living life in a daze, and, in turn, our health improves. Taking charge of your life and designing it in such a way that you're in control of the narrative helps align your mind and body. This fuels positivity, improves energy, and reduces stress and anxiety levels, which can adversely affect the body.

Ironically, saying yes also teaches us when to say no – understanding what matters and what doesn't often depends on your instinct and your experience of saying yes. It essentially informs a deep understanding of oneself, which positively dictates future decisions.

As much as we desire one, our lives have no blueprint. And even when venturing down a path we've threaded before, who's to say the result will be the same? The trick is discerning whether the opportunity knocking aligns with your moral and ethical compass, for only some opportunities should be assented to.

In psychologist Clay Drinko's words, we must discern when "yes, and…" makes sense and when "no" is the better way to go.

Am I saying no because I'm afraid I'm not good enough? Because I don't feel comfortable challenging myself?

Consider whether your desire to quickly say no is informed by an objective analysis of the situation or because you dread the unknown.

All in all, it requires balance, just like everything else in life. The trick is reinventing the narrative to work in your favour. Because the truth is, no matter how much we try to ignore it, we often say no because we're afraid.

Sometimes, even with fright against us, we must muster the strength to take the plunge. Isn't that a life worth living?