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- TV host and MC Maqhawe Khathide is on a mission to challenge social conditioning and place men's mental health and wellness on the map by getting them to open up about their struggles.
- Khathide intends to do this through an initiative dubbed My Great Big Walk, where men will be given the opportunity to have brutal, honest and candid discussions.
- He says he hopes the walk acts as a catalyst for better interventions around men's mental health and wellness and that people will see that men are human, too and need help.
- GOOD NEWS DAY IS BACK! News24 celebrates the people restoring pride in our country. Read their stories here
After recovering from a stroke which caused him to lose everything, including himself, TV host Maqhawe Khathide is on a mission to challenge social conditioning and put men's mental health and wellness on the map.
"Our mental health as men is not well addressed and is mostly left unchecked and untreated," he tells News24. "Social ills are climbing, and we need to have a brutal, honest and candid discussion and introspection. What better way to do it than walking over 1920 KM with a 20 men strong band of brothers?"
The walk, dubbed My Great Big Walk, stems from the conversations he and other men had through the Ezamadoda Men's Movement. Khathide says during these talks, he realised a lot of men are bottling up their struggles.
"This walk, on 16 August, will give us time to reflect on our lives, social issues and what the future holds for men," he says. "Our goal is to encourage men to be vulnerable around each other so whatever we discuss will be from a place of honesty and truth."
"At the beginning of the walk, people might still be apprehensive and anxious but trust me, after hundreds of kilometres of walking, the discussion is about to get real! The ego and bravado are gone."
Khathide will not steer the walk alone. He will be joined by artist and author Ntsikelelo Mzibomvu, who is vocal about his journey as a father and man, and Donald Maila, who he says is "direct and uncompromising in his approach to discussing men's issues".
"One of the outcomes we're looking at is using this as a case study that will help mental health practitioners to better understand us as South African men," he says. "We would also like to turn this walk into a six-part docu-series that will be viewed by a wider and larger audience."
Specialists such as Lehlohonolo Mazindo will also be brought in to assist during the walk to bring insight into the issues men experience and what they should do, behaviourally, when they are "caught up in a situation".
After every day's 50 km walk, the men will debrief, check in with each other about how the day went, and build a discussion on related issues.
Khathide says he, ultimately, hopes to have a #ZwakalaNdoda hotline which men can call before they harm themselves or others. "A simple chat can save a life," he adds.
"Social conditioning has a huge role to play in how one grows up or turns out – growing up, you hear things like 'men don't cry; men shouldn't discuss their problems, men are the head, men are providers; men are leaders; married men have conjugal rights; men don't need consent once she's undressed; men can't have a different sexuality'," Khathide says. "The question is, if you don't have answers, who do you go to? These, coupled with stress, misguided masculinity, finances, bad health decisions and lack of communication skills, usually tip us over the edge quickly."
On a more personal note, he credits his "amazing" wife for making him want to be a better person, husband and father to their children when he battles his anger issues. He adds that his work through the Ezamadoda Men's Movement also helps give him a perspective that calms and sobers him.
"I have anger issues. I get very angry when I'm stressed, and I also get very angry when I feel like my authority is questioned or intelligence is insulted," Khathide says. "I don't shout or get violent but switch off instead."
By getting men to open up about their struggles, he hopes to start "a chain of recovery and wellbeing" and form a brotherhood mentality where men deliberate about helping each other.
"We can't just be about groove, soccer, sexual conquests and money but men of substances," he says. "You can only bottle up for so long, and when the explosion erupts, the damage is far-reaching and often fatal."
The Umthawalo host, a Mzansi Wethu (DStv 163) show which allows breadwinners to confront financially demanding relatives and draw the line, says that while he did not follow in his father Pastor Agrippa Khathide's footsteps of ministry, he found a way to help people through his own pulpit – the TV screen.
"The pulpit is often limited in what one can say or do, but doing shows like Umthwalo is a testament that I'm called to do this," Khathide says. "People would stop me at grocery shops, in the streets and tell me their problems because of an episode of Umthwalo that resonated with them."
He says once, someone stopped him while doing some construction work and told him about his struggles, and they now have weekly chats via WhatsApp.
"That might've been exactly what he needed to save himself," Khathide says.
He says that promoting men's mental health is only one of the many goals in mind with the My Great Big Walk initiative. There are also plans to raise funds for children from disadvantaged peri-urban and rural areas.
