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What’s so familiar about the phrase “You don’t look autistic”
When I first dove into the online autistic community, one phrase kept popping up as other people’s typical response to being diagnosed as autistic later in life: “ You don’t seem autistic.”
Well, I didn’t get this response very often.
True, I got some awkward pauses or a mention of an autistic young nephew but it wasn’t always said using this particular set of words. But I do understand the irritation and offense this phrase causes because I have heard another similar phrase said to and about me: “You don’t act black.”
Like “You don’t look autistic,” this phrase comes in different flavors like being called an “Oreo” or overhearing a black beautician tell my mom her daughters “talk white”.
But I don’t get offended by these phrases. I just wish people would explicitly say what they mean instead of using this too-broad generalization.
As a kid, I used to think the phrase “You don’t act black” was a compliment. I thought the person meant “You don’t act like the black people I see on mid-90s to 2000s TV.” Because it was true, I didn’t act like those characters. Those shows weren’t my reality. (I mean, who actually acts like the people on TV?)
