Young abused mother needs help to start over

Running away and starting a new life with a man she met on her cell phone, who first called her by mistake and whose voice she fell in love with, is the greatest regret former ward of the state, Yonique Creary, said she made.

Creary, who is now 22 years of age and a single mother of three children, ran away at age 17 years from her home.

“Mi foster mada always a tell mi bout man. Always a tell mi how dem stay. She try fi teach mi [and] she try fi bruk mi in a certain way and she try fi mek mi know how dem tan, and mi never listen. Since mi grow up and get pregnant mi seh now mi know weh mi mada a talk bout,” Creary told The Gleaner.

She admitted that she was sneaky when she was a teenager.

“Mi never innocent and everybody know seh gyal pickney nuh innocent. Mi did have mi little boyfriend dem time deh. This is how mi meet mi babyfather [at 15 years old],” Creary said.

She added, “Mi did want know how it feel fi deh pan mi own and deh wid one man at 17 years old. Mi spend two years over the phone with him. Him nuh know if mi a man or woman and mi nuh know if him a man or woman. We de over the phone so til mi mada fly out (migrated) and mi seh alright, mi not staying here, mi a run weh. It was on a Saturday and mi seh to him (boyfriend) seh mi a come up deh. [Then] mi run weh because mi did just want go to mi man. Mi did waa know how it feel fi deh pan mi own and deh wid one man.”

Creary said her boyfriend travelled from Mandeville to Kingston and they met at Three Miles where his friend drove him to, and she left with them to live in Mandeville five years ago.

She said the police and the Child Protection and Family Services Agency called her phone for her to return, but she did not return and got pregnant with her first child at age 17. It was at that point he started showing her the abusive side of him.

“When the baby born, things just get worse. Mi never know nothing bout baby, and him always lef mi. Him lef from ina di morning, cause him nah work at the time inu, and go weh and no come back til [late] hours because him deh a bar a drink,” Creary told The Gleaner.

VERBAL ABUSE

She said the verbal abuse continued over the years. He threatened to kill her several times, and like numerous women in her situation, she did not report the matter to the police.

“Him cuss mi dry rotten. Him all threaten mi couple times; multiple times him threaten mi and seh how him feel like fi run up him knife ina me and run weh wid him two pickney dem, and it end up so til mi get pregnant again [with a third child] and dis ya one ya did even worse than the two,” Creary explained.

She said that was the turning point where she decided to run away to where she now resides.

Creary packed her things and asked her biological father if she could move in with him and his parents, albeit them being living in only two partially finished dirt floor rooms on a hillside, where two unwrapped mattresses were being shared among six persons at that time.

However, this form of abuse was not a first for Creary. She told The Gleaner that when she was in the care of the state, she was abused at a state-run home she was assigned, and another home she was given to for adoption.

She has a burn mark on her hand which she cannot recall how she got, which highlights that abuse would have started with her when she was very young.

Creary gave an example of a time she recalled being abused by someone whom the state selected to adopt her.

“Mi [adopted] mada always a tell mi fi tek up mi book and one night, mi have a princess book and mi a read it and mi buk up pan dis word. I don’t remember the word, but mi know the word bigger than me, and mi go back over the word two time, and you see di third time mi buk up pan di word, mi mada use the knife and chop mi ina mi head and mi deh deh so til mi feel sumn a run. When mi look, mi see seh a blood a drop from mi head, and mi mada seh to me, why mi couldn’t tell her seh she use the knife and chop mi ina mi head, and she dress it di day,” Creary told The Gleaner.

“Mi nuh know if a chruu because she see mi daddy. I don’t know, but she dressed mi head,” she added.

She recalled another time when she did not know the word ‘fan’ and was beaten and her face pushed inside the toilet.

Now, Creary is elated that she has been reunited with her biological family, and is living with them, even if the living condition is very poor.

Her paternal grandmother with whom she now lives, Loveling Lewis, said Creary lived with them for nearly two years at the same location and was taken away 20 years ago.

“Her mother left her with us when she was around one year old, but returned with police officers, took her and gave her away,” Lewis recalled.

Her paternal grandfather, Herman Davis, added to the conversation and said that his daughter was hurt when the police took her and was relentless in finding her niece for 14 years.

“My daughter tek all big risk you know! Is as good as threaten police if she nuh find her. I don’t mean like threatening in no killing way, but talk harsh words,” Davis said.

They became reconnected when Creary was 15-year-old through a brother who found the family who adopted her at the time.

Davis said he was happy to take her in after she explained the abusive relationship she was in, even though they do not have much.

VERY UPSET

“We are not in any strong possession. We foundation is not that strong … and all like me, me can’t work again,” the 84-year-old man said.

He continued, “When she told me of the situation, I was very much upset. As a grandfather, you don’t expect that I would feel good, and my grandchild a girl, not even if it was a boy, I wouldn’t feel good.”

Overall, three grandchildren and four great grandchildren live with Lewis and Davis, and the couple said they are “very happy” they are with him.

“I rather to know that them is around and even if I don’t have it or have nothing, I have one banana, it’s a pleasure to me to pinch up the one banana among us, than to know that them out there, and I don’t know what is taking place with them,” Davis told The Gleaner.

Creary said she needs help and just wants another chance to make a difference, not only in her life and that of her children, but that of the lives of her grandparents.

She said she wants to get a job in a call centre soon and hopes one will consider employing her, even though she has no subjects or qualifications.

“Ten years from now, truth to be told, [I see myself] in a big house; nice car with mi three kids dem and a nice husband. Mi never seh babyfather inu; husband,” she said.

Persons interested in assisting Creary and her family can call her at 876-877-3507.

ainsworth.morris@gleanerjm.com